When in the mood, we cover the intersection between all that's clean and green versus all that's dirty in sex machines, whether roaming the halls of the Adult Expo in Vegas or observing marketers' attempts to sell sustainability with sex. And it 's really a laff riot when you bring sex toys out on the street. I don't know this last part firsthand, but Treehugger TV found out how to raise New Yorkers' eyebrows by pimping cleaner, greener sex toys in public; watch the video here.
If you think that this sort of blogging is just a cheap ploy to attract attention, then check out the latest "sex scandal" headlines being teased by the world's most famous green group. If the cute factor doesn't work with polar bears because it's too depressing that they're drowning in the melting Arctic, you've got to pursue prurience. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between should take note of the dire September 11th warning issued by Greenpeace's Amsterdam (where else) office about unsavory sex toys such as the clitofing, the anneau d'erection, and spectra gels. The names sound to me like control panel buttons on the "Lost in Space" craft.
Such products are poisonous because they contain plasticizers called
thay pthay phfft phthalates. Words this hard to spell and with that many syllables (left) are usually a turnoff. Phthalates (THAY-lates) make the props flexible, but their factory-spawned chemicals have been linked to the kind of unfun gender-bending that makes frogs infertile.
Can you believe that inserting what looks like a glass bong into your body is probably less dangerous than these bendy things? Rule of thumb: anything with that new plastic smell is offgassing unsavory ingredients, and I think it's fair to say that offgassing is a big turn-off even for kinky people. This stuff also leaches into the environment (ew,
leeches leaches: Turn Off) once you toss that corroded vibrator into a landfill.
The European Union frowns upon baby toys that contain phthalates, while American babies still suck on them. But governments won't test the adult goods, just as the FDA doesn't regulate cosmetics. So Greenpeace commissioned its own study on plasticky props for grown-ups. Results: seven of eight were packed with phthalates, which made up as much as 51 percent of the ingredients. What, Greenpeace could only afford to buy eight sex toys? They should have just gone out onto the streets waving dildos like Treehugger did, and asked some Dutch people for loaners. After all, that market is worth some $28 million each year in the Netherlands alone.